Too good to B true

Dialogue with the B-Girlz can get kind of crazy at times. With three very funny ladies in the room, good luck getting a 'straight' answer out of them. You B the judge.

Capital Xtra: How do you resolve your creative differences?
Halle Pino: (the new girl in blue) You saw us resolving them on stage…in front of your very eyes. Barbie-Q and Hard Kora in particular…
Barbie-Q: (pretty in pink) Yes, you were nasty, Kora.
Hard Kora: (the glamourous green B-Girl) I wasn't nasty; I was honest.
Halle: And who do you think ends up in the middle?

CX: You three have landed some serious hunks. What advice could you give to single gals like me?
Halle: It's about being yourself.
Barbie-Q: No, it's about finding a good sports bra.
Halle: Okay, it's about being yourself or finding a good sports bra.
Kora: Just B-yourself! Do what you want to do… say what you want to say…

CX: Halle, what's your story? You're the new girl.
Halle: And the youngest.
Kora: Her character is the youngest.
CX: Okay, the least known then.
Halle: You haven't been talking to the boys in Toronto, obviously!

CX: Who gets the most fan mail?
Kora: I think people generally identify with one of the girlz, one of the characters.
Barbie-Q: I get a lot of philosophical email.
Halle: I get a lot of dirty, sexy emails.
Kora: I get a lot of junk email!

But through the laughter, I was determined to get to the truth. First off, where is Conchita, the vampy orange Latina who was part of the original lineup? Kora explained, "The official version is that Conchita wanted to visit her relatives in E-Spain. She couldn't afford a plane ticket, so she tried to FedEx herself… unfortunately, her box got stopped at the border in Buffalo. In our next stage show, we learn a little bit more about where she really was, which isn't nearly so glamourous." Hinted Barbie-Q, "She got hooked on classics!"

I also wanted to get to the bottom of Hard Kora's disturbing lapse in memory, which she experienced after a difficult relationship with Henri, a cucumber farmer from the Okanagan Valley, and was then found by Barbie and Conchita in a dumpster, face-down in a pile of day-old croissants. Sparing no expense, I brought in a rather large cucumber and a bag of day-old croissants in the hopes that I could help jog her memory.

"Oh my God! That's so sweet!" squealed Kora, who explained the relationship further. "You know, it was one of those relationships where you totally give and give, and you think everything's going great, and it ain't. And then you lose it, and you lose him. I thought I could have a child, but I can't… it's very sad… and because Henri was very hard of sight, I got a puppy and sheared it like a sheep, trying to pass it off as a kid. But he found out when I gave the dog a Milkbone. So now I'm not seeing anyone."

Barbie-Q: Well, you've got the cucumber.
Kora: More importantly, I've got the croissants. I love croissants!

- printed in Capital Xtra, Issue #98, Oct 12, 2001. Photo of the B-Girlz by Shawn Scallen